Flash it!

These are for those who never get enough of my brazen artistic pictures. Together with my previous post, it’s the beginning of my generosity to flash even more. Muff pie is delicious, isn't it?

Please feel free to use them as wallpaper of your cell phones or picture frames, swap places with your wife’s.

The Whore of Babylon Strikes Back

(Readers, kindly refer to the infamous prologue of Star Wars). Not long ago, not far away from Kuala Lumpur, a Holier-than-thou was very irked with my blog, in which in return, had irked me. And thus, I deliver this message, along with flaunting more of my inner Amazon. And uh… hope her husband would love them.

The upright matronly mother of two tried her best to spread The Good News again, but I told her I rather spread my legs. Who didn’t know I was already a notorious backsliding for more than 20 years?

She insisted The Jehovah-sent Chastity Belt, saying that it was the priceless jewel in universe, but I politely refused, concluded that I always preferred The Whore of Babylon’s Bikini.

As she went on with her Gospel screaming, Bible thumping, pulpit smashing, she subconsciously displayed her extreme nervous and ultra anxious of her age, which was a year older than I am. And I had learnt that her husband was 5 years YOUNGER than she was.

Alright. Here are the useful tips to detect a matronly Holier-than-thou. Hypocrisy may do harm. The hallmarks are: Wearing long, covered, all buttoned up, outdated attires. Having a rotund, chunky body shape. Usually an educator or a disciplinarian. Having a poorly maintained Nancy Kwan bob. Usually talks and walks her way authoritatively. Express extreme disgust and loath when seeing anyone doing anything provocative, e.g. wearing revealing attires or displaying homosexuality. Have low opinions on everything that do not go along with her dogma. Speaking pidgin English while bragging her linguistic skills.

Well, from my generalization, her husband MAY involve in an extramarital affair. So good luck when the chips are down.

Oh Doctor, Heal The World

Don’t always think that I’ve the odd fetish of stripping off or exposing my inner Amazon. Drop that idea.

The doctor diagnosed it ovarian cyst and that my entire left ovary was affected. That damn rotten egg measured 3cm x 5cm, and had to be surgically removed immediately.

And thus, it was done on 5th June 2009, by Caesarean section, with the total cost RM 5151.25. Strange as it might sound. I wasn’t informed beforehand about this orthodox slice-flip method that would leave a long, permanent horizontal scar. I was only being told when I was lying on the sterilized chopping board, after being pumped with anesthetic.

(Heya, doctors out there. Isn't Caesarean is only meant for removing babies and dead fetuses?)

Spine-chilling? Not as intense as reading Ven. Xuan Zang trip to Hell. So, will I kill the doctor? No. Will I burn his moustache? No. Will I blast MJ’s ‘Heal The World' into his ears? No. Would I hint that his wife urgently needs a face-lift? Maybe.

And lo and behold. These are my post surgery pictures, taken this afternoon.

For those who would want to see more of my artistic nude photography, sure I'd continue to post, alternating with these real life, pragmatic ones. Choose and save those you prefer.

Living In A Grateful World

I shall continue to post the countless pictures of mine, the constant reminder of my own rises and downfalls.

I’m learning to let go these great possessions of mine, of which had given me pride and resentment. In front of me is the Grateful World.

I’ve found this poster in the prayer hall, entitled Living In A Grateful World.

Be grateful to those who have hurt or harmed you.
For they have reinforced your determination.

Be grateful to those who have deceived you.
For they have deepened your insight.

Be grateful to those who have hit you.
For they have reduced your karmic obstacles.

Be grateful to those who have abandoned you.
For they have taught you to be independent.

Be grateful to those who have made you stumble.
For they have strengthened your ability.

Be grateful to those who have denounced you.
For they have increased your wisdom and concentration.

I Rather Strip Off!

Indeed, showing my scars is harder than stripping off my clothes. Spilling my guts to WWW takes real guts.

Now SWITCH! These pictures will turn into positive lights.

Those who relish self-infliction, self-cutting, self-mutilation, and think they are exquisite pleasures… You’re one PARIAH attention seeker.

Bear in mind. The scars stay till you are carted to the morgue.

My Adventure in Hell

It took a lot of courage for me to dig into my dark secret closet. I found my old diary, dated back in 1998, in which I described my suicide attempt. I followed one of the methods mentioned in the book Final Exit, by Derek Humphry.

In my suicide cache, there were 200 tablets of Stilnox (see the latest packaging); 3 bottles of Prosezine and 3 bottles of Sedilix (both were cough syrup, with codeine). In 23 June 1998, I swallowed all of them.

By (unknown) miracle, I was alive. What was in my head? Rotten pig’s brain. Who else is such an intellectual pinhead? Write to me.

This is a reminder. Those who are contemplating suicide, or trying to emulate superstars’ suicide, or considering suicide as trendy.... You're indeed a PIG.

You wouldn’t be as fortunate as I was. Don't even dream.

My Ugly Teeth

Many people said my teeth are real UGLY. The dentist told me to put on braces (cost RM 5,000 to RM 6,000). Other told me to do the crowning (cost RM 10,000). Yet other told me to pull all out and put on dentures!

Goodness, aren't that I'd lose ALL my teeth one day?

And should I worry if I still have the sex appeal? Mind, I'm approaching 40.

Good Old Joshua

More of my artistic pictures, taken in 2003. The cool looking guy in the middle was my neat photographer, Joshua Tan. He's one sporty gay man, hence I called him twogaygrapes!